Monday

Well, it has been an interesting couple of days. So many thoughts running around in my head. Things of what I would love to do, things that are more realistic, and things that just make me tired and want to take a nap.

Albert and I had dinner on Friday night at the Goode's. So the table conversation turned into a deep subject, "what is your passion". So, all of us had to answer that question. At first I couldn't really put my finger on what to say and I was feeling pressure to answer the question because we made all the men go first. Turns out I feel my passion is to help others. To come alongside of them and make sure they know how special they are and how great the love of God is. I also want to help animals, those that are broken due to neglect and/or abuse.

Then, Sunday at church, the Pastor was talking about chapter 2 and 3 in Nehemiah. Well, in these 2 chapters we are finding out that the King is allowing Nehemiah to go and build the wall, that most of the people are excited about it and that some people are, well, just not excited about it at all.

The wall represents safety, security, and how others view the power of God. It was very important to Nehemiah that the wall be rebuilt and to most of the Jews as well.

The Pastor made a point in saying that if we think are doing the work of the Lord and everyone is approving of that or that there isn't any opposition, then maybe we need to make sure we are truly doing His work. Let's just say this - the enemy wants to foil any plans that we have that include Kingdom building and praising God.

Ok, so putting this all together - oh, another important fact that I have learned is about planning - how I need a vision, a mission and a plan. Something that moves me forward - ok - now putting it all together!

Do I want a Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goal (BHAG) of starting my own ministry, seeing how to come up with more land, looking into a future with many horses and children who need love and care? OR do I look in another direction, a direction that still calls for a lot of faith, one that is more like I no longer work but instead volunteer with 2 different ministries/agencies?

Is there something in between those 2 ideas? Is this even the path that God wants me to be on? What is my first step?

Well, I am actually already taking a first step - Albert and I are getting our finances in order - so that is step one.

I am actually putting down on paper all the things I need to do before I can even start "saving" horses.

I do want to have a horse business of some sort as well. I have 2 stalls that I want to rent out - do you know of anyone that needs a horse stall??

And oh, at some time this year I will be taking horseback riding lessons as well. I do know how to ride, but I don't really know how to ride.

I also want to work with the horses and train them. Albert and I will also be building a round pen in the next couple of months. Need to start that before it becomes too hot.

It would appear that I am confused about my journey, my path, but as I am writing this it just feels good to be thinking in a direction, looking down a road that I want to travel.

I know as I write more, plan more, pray more it will all come into focus and the Lord will open His floodgates and more things will become clear. And I also know that my God owns the 1000 cattle on the hill and if He wants us to have more land, He will do it - no worries, we have a great and mighty God!

Thanks again for following me! Question? What is your passion and what does your journey look like? Ah the tables have turned - lol!! Stacy

A Long Week

This week has felt very long to me. After getting home from NY and then trying to get back into my routine, I am just feeling tired. Although I have been to a couple of websites that I feel are part of my journey, I am not sure how I am feeling after reading about what they have done and if this is my journey as well or if mine is a bit different (I am thinking a bit different).

I sort of feel like I have stalled a bit, not sure which direction to go at this moment. I also think I feel this way because I was asked a question that started me thinking....

"If you could have your ultimate dream life where money didn't matter, what would that life look like?"

I know dreaming and goals are very important, but I don't think this was a good question for me to ponder on. I am better at walking through the doors that God has opened and then reflecting back on what He has done and how He has blessed my family and myself.

It is too easy for me to get caught up in the clouds of dreams that aren't somewhat realistic - I can become depressed and upset because of what I don't have instead of grateful over what I do have!

So, I need to shake this off and get back into my search for what my journey is, get back into reading the "Art of War" and asking God what to do next for my journey.

I also need to listen to the sermon from last week, that will get me back into the book of Nehemiah. That is where my focus needs to be.

I also want to make it clear that God can give us our heart's desires and if that meant a life where money didn't matter, ie: I was a millionaire; then He could do that. I just need to take things one step at a time and not have my head so far in the clouds that I can't walk on the ground. It just works out better for my personality.

Ok, so I need to get back to focusing on Him, where He is leading Albert and I, and what to do next.

Oh, and this is all right before Rodeo starts up, so there is no telling what frame of mind I will be in over the next couple of weeks - lol - I love the rodeo - I love the cows and horses - all the events. Going on Saturday (tomorrow) to watch bull riding! The fun begins!

Wonder what part the Rodeo will play in my journey! Looking forward to see what God does next!

Stacy

The Trip Home from New York

Just got in today from New York, back to the busy city of Hockley, lol, what am I talking about - it is so nice and peaceful here, hardly know we have neighbors. That is NOT what New York is like.

I do enjoy NY (don't want to live there, but love going there) all the walking everywhere, seeing all the people from all around the world. Very cool place to visit and have a blast with my girlfriends!!

On the plane trip home I was finally able to look over my Strength Finders 2.0 book and see what my personality means. It is so crazy reading over what they are saying about your personality. Here I took about a 20 minute test on the computer and bam I am reading about who I am in black and white.

Just to make sure I wasn't making anything up, I kept bugging Fonda and asking her if she saw me that way as well. It was freeing to see the strengths that I have and yet scary.

It is also hard to believe some of what they say, like how my personality type is able to inspire and encourage others. That I have a gift of communication. How I can involve others and I don't like anyone to be left out (well that part I believe - lol).

Now comes the hard part - reading over this and truly seeing myself in a new way, I guess in a way that matters, well that I do matter. I know that what we do can affect others, that we don't live on an island, that if we do something that can hurt one person, it will have a trickle down effect. I know that, but now I have to realize that when we (I) do good, when we (I) work in our strengths, we (I) have a positive effect on others and can actually change lives, maybe even generations.

I need to read over my strengths again and really let it all sink in. Make goals and challenge myself to truly live a life of purpose and excellence. To give God the glory in all areas of my life, not only that, but truly see where He is working and how I can come alongside of Him. I want to make a difference in my community and for His kingdom.

I feel like I need big charts around the house where I can write everything down and also create diagrams - it is so strange, feeling like I am starting from scratch!

Oh, and get this, in the Bible readings that we are doing, Moses is telling Aaron and the Israelites all about atonement for sin, all the offerings that where going to have to start doing. I am reading this thinking, how is Aaron going to remember all of this, what animal for what sin, when he can eat an animal, how to never use leaven while making a grain/bread offering. I am getting overwhelmed and feeling so sorry for Aaron, like he needed charts and graphs, and here I am in the same boat! Love how God works that way!!! He prepared me through reading Leviticus for what He has in store for me! What a sense of humor!!!!

Well, back to work this week. Back to reading the "Art of War" and seeing how I can outline, underline, something like that, for what my next step is for my journey!

Thanks for joining me on this journey! Stacy

New York City

I am on a trip in New York City this weekend with some of the bestest friends you would ever want to have, Robin Harris and Fonda Goode!

Last night we went out to eat at a great restaurant and then to a play, "Love, Loss and What I Wore", it was very good and has given me a lot to think about from my past.

The play was basically 5 women recounting times about their past and what they were wearing. This started me thinking this morning, first of all I have some great memories of shopping with my mom, family, and friends. Buying outfits, shoes, accessories, all those sorts of things and what was going on when we were shopping and why.

Like the times my mom and I would shop before the first football game so that I could have a new sweater to wear for it or going with her to buy material and a pattern for my prom and winter formal dresses. Buying maternity jeans for my sister when she was pregnant with her son (I am big on jeans!), or going with my oldest to pick out her wedding dress. Times that I have shopped alone trying to find that perfect top for my youngest, hoping that she would just love it or surprising my son with a shirt from one of his favorite shows. Looking at shirts knowing that my husband would just look so much more handsome in it OR going to the rodeo and buying a shirt that I just had to have, because hey, it is the rodeo!!

But this morning I also started thinking about what blessings I have had throughout my life. Growing up in a small town and knowing almost everyone you went to high school with (that can be good and bad -lol), having my dad watch me cheer lead, run track and cross country. Meeting my husband in 1981; becoming great friends and then best friends before we were married in 1987. Moving to Texas meeting wonderful friends that have your back, you enjoy going out with and don't judge you. Having my sister and my cousin be such close and wonderful friends - it is great have family that can also be best friends! Having my children grow up to become wonderful adults that I enjoy being around and having the most awesome grandchildren (I think in the entire world)!

I also enjoy where I work and who I work with, the staff, volunteers and clients. So many blessings from my past that have brought me to this moment in time; this part of my journey. I know I have the strength and courage to go through what is ahead because of my past.

This past week I have had another door open, I think, that reveals my future. I am starting to see such a need to reach out to "at risk" and troubled teens. Seeing how affected my client is by her past makes me want to make me step in and help not only her but other youth not go down that same path or if they have, help them to heal and overcome so that they can have a wonderful and productive future.

This new open door also includes my horses. It takes a lot of trust to work with horses. You have to trust your horse and believe it or not, they have to trust you. So putting them with kids that need to work on trust issues would be awesome.

I feel the Lord bringing this together in my life, I am walking through this door to see where it might lead me. I am excited about this new journey and feel energized thinking about all the possibilities this open door could have for me.

Hmmmmmm, all of this from a play where women basically talked about clothes and feelings - how funny is that?!

I have some more exploring and research to do, I want to make sure this is an open door that I am supposed to walk through and that it will be productive and excellent. Also that this is all from the Lord.

Well, more about this after I have done more research! Thanks again for joining me on this journey! Stacy

A good General

So as I have been on my journey, the Lord has lead me to read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. Why you ask? Ah, I don't know, but I am reading it.

This is what I have learned so far - A good general knows his enemies, knows his soldiers, knows when to battle and when to rest his troops. A good general knows the battle field and how to director his troops through that field to victory. He knows ever piece and how to put it together and work it out so that he wins. I often imagine the board game Risk while I am reading this book - not that I really played that game, but that is what pops into my head.

To me, God is the good general. He knows me, knows how to put all the pieces of my life together and when I need to move forward and when I need to stay put.

He has already won the war, but I still have daily battles that I must go through. So, I need to listen to the General, move when He says to move and stay put when He says so.

Ah, so the word TRUST comes into play. If I know that He is a good general, that He has my back, that He knows me and only wants me to win each battle, then can I trust Him enough to move forward when He says and stay put when He says.

Ok, so now let's combine this with Sunday's sermon - ah the book of Nehemiah - no kidding - God is so amazing putting all of this together for me as I am on this journey! We are now studying this book and I must say, once again the subject of trust comes into play.

Nehemiah was on a journey as well, the journey to rebuild the wall. He had to trust God and move when God said to move. He had to listen to the good General as well.

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but this is where I am right now. Still waiting for God to reveal and move in my life. Which He is doing - I must say.

So the question is do I trust Him? Will I jump off the high dive into the deep end with Him? I think so! Not sure what it means, but I will move and go through the doors He has opened - I am excited to find out what it all means, actually!

He has been leading me to look up a couple of things online and to call the vet for the horses. So I need to do that - follow through with what He prompting me to do.

So, there will be more to this story. Aren't you glad you are along for the ride - lol! Until next time! Stacy

Breathing - In and Out

My friend, Fonda, sent me a link to a blog that she thought I might like. I read this and was thinking about how we take so much in and how much we process every day.

I see what other women are doing and either feel guilty that I don't do the same thing or maybe what I do won't turn out the same. Silly things that rattle my brain and throw me off course.

In the blog it talks about all that we take in, but we also need to breathe out. We can't do all things, we actually are not created to be able to do all things. We are created for God's purpose and He created each of us individually and unique - like a snow flake.

I remember watching a commercial growing up for a perfume - it was talking about how as a woman we can "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget your a man" - what did that message say? Woman can do it all! But are we supposed too?

I also found out at the conference that I attended that the Proverbs 31 woman is a collection of all women - not just one woman could do all these things. How God created us to do things within our talents and area of gifting.

So, then the question is - what is my talent and gift? Where does He want me to work? What is the path that He is leading me too?

This is what I am working towards. Knowing truly who I am and why I was created. Yes, I am a child of God, yes, I am a wife, yes, I am a mom and YES, I am a grandma - BUT what does that all mean? How do I fit into His big plan?

Ah, the journey continues! :) Below is the website for the blog...

www.incourage.me/2012/02/remember-to-breathe-out.html

Once again, thank you for letting me share! On to see what today holds for me and my journey!

Puzzle pieces coming together

It has been very interesting couple of weeks. Last week I was able to attend a conference in Dallas and before attending, we had to do homework. One of the books we had to read is called "Strengths Finders 2.0", and then take an online test. This book shows you what the strengths are for your personality and how to work in those strengths. We also took a Spiritual gifts test and a personality test.

In attending the conference, I learned that I really want to please people, even in a little silly game that had no right or wrong answers. I need to look deeper into that - why that feeling of not upsetting anyone or making anyone angry. At times it is almost a feeling that if I am not perfect then a person won't like me. This feeling can become very negative as well and I can shut down from people if I feel there is just no way in pleasing them. Yes, I have issues.

I believe my Spiritual gift is Teaching, which when taking this test before, that is what it said as well, but as I heard and read about what that gift involves, it just makes me so tired. So, here again, I need to investigate why I feel so tired about my life.

The personality test was interesting and I believe what it was saying about how God created me, but what it also showed was the strong part of your personality and the weakness and how we can do so many things, but some things we do, when we operate out of our weakness and that tires us out. We then don't perform as well and we can also become frustrated or do things we wouldn't normally do. When we operate in our strengths, it is almost like giving us energy and we are excited about what we are doing.

The sermon on Sunday was, once again, just what I needed. The pastor spoke on the doors that God opens and the doors that He closes. How we need to walk through those doors, even when we feel opposition from others. He related it to a "now" and "then" - if I would have known "then" what I know "now". Where we have felt the nudging of the Lord to go in one direction and yet for some reason we didn't do it. He has a special path for all of us and that is the path I want to be on - the one He has for me!

So, now, putting this all together - awwwwwww that is the question!

I have asked my hubby to give me 2 years with the horses, I feel a nudging from the Lord in a certain direction and I feel I have an open door. So, with that in mind, I am still praying and moving forward in that direction. I will talk more about that later.

I am not one that reads a lot (I need to read more actually), but I just wanted to share this book with you. If you ever have a chance, you should order the book. It has a special code in the back so that you can go online and take a test. So this is a book that you actually have to buy and can't borrow from someone else if you want to take this test. It was very interesting to learn that even though some of us at the conference had the same strengths, how we answered the questions and how we use our strengths was different - all very interesting. The book is "Strengths Finders 2.0" by Tom Rath.

I must admit I have homework from the conference that I still need to do for this book. So I am hoping to catch up on that and have even more information and confirmation about my journey.

Thank you for letting me share! Until next time! Stacy