Friday, February 24, 2012

A Long Week

This week has felt very long to me. After getting home from NY and then trying to get back into my routine, I am just feeling tired. Although I have been to a couple of websites that I feel are part of my journey, I am not sure how I am feeling after reading about what they have done and if this is my journey as well or if mine is a bit different (I am thinking a bit different).

I sort of feel like I have stalled a bit, not sure which direction to go at this moment. I also think I feel this way because I was asked a question that started me thinking....

"If you could have your ultimate dream life where money didn't matter, what would that life look like?"

I know dreaming and goals are very important, but I don't think this was a good question for me to ponder on. I am better at walking through the doors that God has opened and then reflecting back on what He has done and how He has blessed my family and myself.

It is too easy for me to get caught up in the clouds of dreams that aren't somewhat realistic - I can become depressed and upset because of what I don't have instead of grateful over what I do have!

So, I need to shake this off and get back into my search for what my journey is, get back into reading the "Art of War" and asking God what to do next for my journey.

I also need to listen to the sermon from last week, that will get me back into the book of Nehemiah. That is where my focus needs to be.

I also want to make it clear that God can give us our heart's desires and if that meant a life where money didn't matter, ie: I was a millionaire; then He could do that. I just need to take things one step at a time and not have my head so far in the clouds that I can't walk on the ground. It just works out better for my personality.

Ok, so I need to get back to focusing on Him, where He is leading Albert and I, and what to do next.

Oh, and this is all right before Rodeo starts up, so there is no telling what frame of mind I will be in over the next couple of weeks - lol - I love the rodeo - I love the cows and horses - all the events. Going on Saturday (tomorrow) to watch bull riding! The fun begins!

Wonder what part the Rodeo will play in my journey! Looking forward to see what God does next!


Monday, February 20, 2012

The Trip Home from New York

Just got in today from New York, back to the busy city of Hockley, lol, what am I talking about - it is so nice and peaceful here, hardly know we have neighbors. That is NOT what New York is like.

I do enjoy NY (don't want to live there, but love going there) all the walking everywhere, seeing all the people from all around the world. Very cool place to visit and have a blast with my girlfriends!!

On the plane trip home I was finally able to look over my Strength Finders 2.0 book and see what my personality means. It is so crazy reading over what they are saying about your personality. Here I took about a 20 minute test on the computer and bam I am reading about who I am in black and white.

Just to make sure I wasn't making anything up, I kept bugging Fonda and asking her if she saw me that way as well. It was freeing to see the strengths that I have and yet scary.

It is also hard to believe some of what they say, like how my personality type is able to inspire and encourage others. That I have a gift of communication. How I can involve others and I don't like anyone to be left out (well that part I believe - lol).

Now comes the hard part - reading over this and truly seeing myself in a new way, I guess in a way that matters, well that I do matter. I know that what we do can affect others, that we don't live on an island, that if we do something that can hurt one person, it will have a trickle down effect. I know that, but now I have to realize that when we (I) do good, when we (I) work in our strengths, we (I) have a positive effect on others and can actually change lives, maybe even generations.

I need to read over my strengths again and really let it all sink in. Make goals and challenge myself to truly live a life of purpose and excellence. To give God the glory in all areas of my life, not only that, but truly see where He is working and how I can come alongside of Him. I want to make a difference in my community and for His kingdom.

I feel like I need big charts around the house where I can write everything down and also create diagrams - it is so strange, feeling like I am starting from scratch!

Oh, and get this, in the Bible readings that we are doing, Moses is telling Aaron and the Israelites all about atonement for sin, all the offerings that where going to have to start doing. I am reading this thinking, how is Aaron going to remember all of this, what animal for what sin, when he can eat an animal, how to never use leaven while making a grain/bread offering. I am getting overwhelmed and feeling so sorry for Aaron, like he needed charts and graphs, and here I am in the same boat! Love how God works that way!!! He prepared me through reading Leviticus for what He has in store for me! What a sense of humor!!!!

Well, back to work this week. Back to reading the "Art of War" and seeing how I can outline, underline, something like that, for what my next step is for my journey!

Thanks for joining me on this journey! Stacy