Saturday, May 5, 2012

A Wonderful Weekend

This has been a wonderful weekend (well, a bit longer than a weekend) with my hubby and cousins.  It is so much fun to be here in the desert air and sun - just enjoying all the beautiful scenery and just amazed at how God creates so many beautiful things and areas.  Just blows my mind!  He is so awesome!

The past 2 days I have been able to ride and able to think about my horses and what it all means.  I love horses, love riding, love exploring and love the wide open spaces.  So while riding and thinking it occurs to me that I need more than a journey or path in my life.  I have to have some balance!

Driving in the car for over 2 1/2 hours a day (to and from work) has put me out of balance.  While I do enjoy structured time and knowing what I am going to do (checking things off a list) I also need to balance out my life.  The pressures of the Center can become overwhelming.  Am I going to bring enough money in, how can I help this client, what articles do I need to write, what about making the deposit.  All of this can be draining and adding traffic to it just makes it worse.  Like joy is stolen from me - well, more like just sucked right out of me.

It is harder and harder to wake up in the morning, life has moments of joy, but not most of the time.  Life seems to be more about checking things off my list than actually living.  Like I have this pressure to preform and get things done.  Which I like, but for some reason this is different.  Not sure I can explain it all.

So, how can I have balance?  What is it that I need to cut out?  How do I change my thinking?  Being on the back of a horse can change your thinking.  This is for sure!  The beauty of it, the feel of a horse, talking with the horse; it is all so calming and so fulfilling.  Just amazing!  It is so amazing how God created these majestic creatures!  As you can tell I love horses.  I need to ride more, but how do I fit it all in??

Which brings me back to balance.  Where do I get it?  What do I give up?  How do I create more time in my day?  What does all this have to do with my journey?

Well, these are all thoughts that I will be pondering over the next couple of weeks - will need to get some balance in my life soon - that is for sure!

Thank you again for help me on my journey!  Stacy








Friday, April 27, 2012

My Mind is Crowded with ALL sorts of Thoughts!

Those of you who know me should be very scared of that title - lol!  I think I have gotten myself into trouble - how - well, by trying to read 3 books at the same time!  "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life", "Total Forgiveness" and the newest one, "When Pigs Move In" - and no - that one is NOT about pig farming.  :)

As I am on my journey, I have found that I have issues from my past to deal with.  Evidently I have some sort of unforgiveness in my heart and I need to have that plucked out - not sure of what that is just yet - but while reading my "Total Forgiveness" book I felt that sting in my heart and I know I have things to work through because of that.

Last Sunday's church was also very good.  Talking about God's timing and how His plans don't really revolve around timing - He is timeless - anyway, the example was Moses taking the Israelites into the promised land, how stubborn they were, and that they didn't trust Him so therefore the first generation didn't get to go in - they all died off.  Then the 2nd generation was able to receive their inheritance and go into the promised land.  We also learned how important it is to mediate on God's Word, that it's not about me, it's about God and to receive His promises.  His words are true and He is faithful!

Ok - so how does this all fit together - see - my mind is spinning!

And oh, not to mention, as I was driving into work this week I see a semi-truck that used to have a  logo on it about "Feed the Children" - it was all faded - like they took it off - but I could see it.  Actually I had to blink a couple of times to make sure I was reading what I was reading.  I was like, really God, what are you saying to me!

Well, this much I can say I know for sure!  1) God has a plan for me  2) All circumstances are under God's control  3) His Word is my direction and 4) I need to live a life devoted to Him.

So many puzzle pieces that I am just going to let Him put them all together.  Some days I really love my journey, some days I am really confused about it and some days - well - I just don't like it.  BUT I am ready to see where this year takes me and what God has for me.  And can you believe this year is already a 1/4 over - man!

Oh, and get this, my newest addition of Horse and Rider Magazine cover says, "Got A Goal" - really??!!

Truly my mind is crowded with all sorts of thoughts!  Hopefully it will be less crowded soon - lol!  Thank you for joining me on my journey, Stacy


 









 

Friday, April 13, 2012

Question Everything

This is a quote attributed to Albert Einstein and is in a new book that I am reading, "change your questions, change your life".

In the first couple of chapters you meet the character, Ben, who was the "answer man" at work and now he finds himself as the person who has no answers.

He is going to a mentor of sorts, per his boss's request, and now he has to Question Thinking.

The thought process here is that you have to find the right questions to find the right results. One example of this is back in the days when nomads walked from water hole to water hole, living in tents and constantly worrying about where they will be getting their next water for their livestock and their families, their question was, "where is the water?". Well once they changed their question to "how do we get water to us?", cities where born, crops were grown, life was different.

Ok, how do I apply this to my journey, my path. Well, I am not sure as of yet, only on chapter 3 - lol - but I am excited to see where this book will take me.

I have found my strengths (although I need to go and review them), I have seen what a good general does (although I need to read more of the book, "The Art of War") and now this book.

Also this morning in my Bible reading, God challenged me to defend the defenseless and stand up for the underdog. This is what I want to do. My question is HOW?

But is that the right question? Is that going to show me my path? What question is it that I am really asking? I know this - God, what is it that You want me to do? Do I continue the path where I am or start something new? How can horses be incorporated in all of this? Are they supposed to be? What is my next step?

I have questions, but don't believe I am asking them in the right way! I am hoping that the Lord will reveal to me what to ask and how to ask it as I read this book. Stay tuned - it may get interesting! :)

On another note, Albert and I are taking our youngest on a college tour today. I am excited to see what path the Lord has for her and to be able to share in this journey with her!

Thank you once again for sharing this journey with me! Stacy

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My Journey

Ok - so here I am - wondering about my journey - my path - my next step in life - and right now I am cloudy and foggy - don't get it! But staying the course - because that is what I need to do until God shows me what is next.

BUT I do know that I am helping my youngest with her journey - so I like that! She wants to go to college and find her own path - yeah - love that!

BUT another thing has just caught my eye! Yes, another thing! I LOVE watching Food Network and all their shows - but what I didn't realize is that in America (yes, America) we have children going for days (sometimes) without food - WHAT??? How can that happen - aren't we a GREAT and mighty country??? Don't we have programs in place to where people don't have to go hungry? We have food pantries, WIC, food stamps, Shelters and schools that give discounted lunches - how can this be???

So on this commercial they say by 2015 we can end children hungry - WHAT - 2015?? Why do we have to wait 3 more years to end hungry in America???? Sorry, but this just blows my mind!

Ok, so now what, do I do something about this? Do I just send a check, do I check into our area about this - I just don't get it! This (once again) is just blowing my mind!

Every day I deal with women who need help and I have numbers to give them or I can actually help them - why is there this problem? What is slipping through the cracks???

So basically stay tuned and we sill see what happens next on this issue......

Oh, I am also praying for a person to rent a stall - just so you know!

Well, just wanted to share what was on my mind - once again, thank you for sharing this journey with me! Stacy

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Ups and Downs/Highs and Lows

A lot emotionally has happened to me since my last post. My Ferrier (a person who shoes and trims horse hooves) came out last Friday, it was time for the girls to have their mannies and peddies - lol.

We were talking about horses, how I want to have a business or do something with horses, that sort of thing. Well, he has a lot of knowledge about horses and making a living off of horses and basically was saying, "you can't make any money off of horses". He is a realist. I was sharing about wanting to work with horses and kids as well, "you would have to have a HUGE insurance policy". Again, reality. So, another pitch, "I would like to rescue horses" - I am trying every angle here! "Once you start rescuing horses, everyone will know that you do that and you will end up having too many horses and they will need to be rescued". Stinking drought, hay prices, feed prices, trying to make money off of horses when people are just turning horses loose on the streets.

People can't make ends meet and with so many horses out there it is hard to do anything with them at this time. So the words rolling around in my head are, "Can't he just see I want to do something with horses???"

Ok, so reality in my face. In talking with Albert about this, him being a realist as well, he is agreeing with the Ferrier. So, emotion city happens. "It's not fair, I want to have a dream, why can't I just do something that I finally want to do in life." You know, my own little pity party was happening.

It's like as a woman you raise your children, you keep your household going, you contribute to the family, your marriage, all these things, but when is it that I just get to have a dream and have the freedom to live out my dream. See, I told you, a nice pity party was full on happening!

Ok, so as my pit party is keeping me emotional throughout the weekend, we go to church on Sunday. Ah, my Pastor, what does he have to say about dreams and goals and such? In the book of Nehemiah we see the vision, God's vision. A wall that had been destroyed and not fixed for over 90 years and God has Nehemiah go and fix it - in 52 days the wall is rebuilt - he had this dream - people told him it couldn't be done and yet - God through Nehemiah did it!

Ah, the dream can come back now. Not that I ignore reality, but I can see through the fog and get back to my dream, my journey.

One thing that Pastor Sal said that I just kept running through my head was, "when we are faithful with the little things, then we will be rewarded with bigger things". Well, that is true, look at Nehemiah, he went from the King's cup bearer to the Governor with a new rebuilt wall and everything.

So yesterday driving into work it hits me (well, God hit me upside the head). I am not my own, I was bought with a price, I have no rights. Lay down your rights - yes, Lord. Seek me - yes, Lord. You said you wanted a year to figure out what the rest of your life is going to look like and it is only the end of March - yes, Lord.

So as reality meets dreaming here is what I have come up with - nothing is impossible with God! He owns a 1000 cattle on the hill! If I am faithful with what He has given to me now, there is no telling what the rest of the year will look like. Why am I focusing on the negative and not the blessings He has already given me?

He will either redirect my heart and my dream or He will bring it to completion!

Me, I am a dreamer. I live in a world of reality that I have to deal with, but I know God's ways are not always man's ways.

So once again, I am on my journey to see what this year will bring. I am done with my pity party (at least this one - lol) and will continue on - to fight the good fight - to be faithful with what He has given to me - to continue on this journey until He shows me something different.

Oh, and my foot is still swollen, can only wear one pair of shoes right now. It is also a pretty color of purple and pink. :) It's all good!

Thank you for being on this journey with me and for allowing me to share my ups and downs and highs and lows. Stacy

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Be careful what you pray for!

Well, as you all know I am in the middle of my journey to find out what the "rest" of my life has for me. Well, lately I have felt very overwhelmed! So many things happening at work, a child moving back home (which is a praise report!) and rain (which is a blessing) causing grass and weeds to grow. All the while, trying to work with the horses, running 2 fundraisers at the same time at work, plus running the education department, plus everything else I do at work! As well as trying to keep up with the house and property! Oh, did I say I was feeling overwhelmed??? Ah, yes I am!

Ok, so here goes the "Be careful of what you pray for part". I have been praying on how to slow down - where to cut back - what can I let go of - how can I spend more time in prayer and just "being still and knowing God".

So, yesterday we had to take one of the horses to the vet, she wasn't eating normally and believe me - she EATS. Tressa and I loaded her up in the trailer in only 20 minutes, so thought it would take longer as she has only been off the property 2 times before this trip. Feeling pretty good about loading her and while I was closing the bar to secure her in the trailer I got my left pinky finger caught in the bar so now have 2 beautiful blood blisters. A little hard to type - who knew I needed my left pinky finger that much.

So, Albert gets home from work and he decides he will go with me. This is good because I have never driven the horse trailer before. So we get there and she is freaking out, shaking from the trip over there and very sweaty. I go to let her out and she almost runs over me, but the main point to this part is that she steps on my foot. So happy I was wearing boots! Then we go to where the exam is going to take place and she won't go into the room. Have to have help with that. Thank you vet techs! She finally receives some drugs to help calm her and we get to look into her mouth. Horses mouths are strange and beautiful. Crazy looking teeth and as you are looking at them you wonder why God created them that way. Well, of course He made them that way, so that they can chew their food very well - because they can colic way too easily.

Ok, so we try to get her back into the trailer, ah, more drugs please! Anyway, we had a hard time (worse than when Tressa and I put her in), Albert who was still in his work clothes got step on, so glad his toes are still there. Had to have 2 vet techs help us, she is crazy, can you say more drugs, please! So one of the vet techs has this idea to back up the trailer to a spot where she basically had to go into the trailer, so we did that (ah, so glad Albert joined us - me backing up a trailer - I think not).

Ok, all is well - ah NOT! We get home and she starts FREAKING out! I thought she was going to knock the trailer over! She saw the other horses and HAD to go to them! We got her out, Tressa helped and then all was well ------------- until I took off my boot!

Can we say pretty purple and pink colors! GREAT! My foot is so swollen I can hardly walk!

Albert was so sweet and fed the horses and mucked stalls for me the next morning (today). I hobbled into work - so glad I found a shoe that fit. I had to ice my foot - I HATE icing! My co-worker even brought me a bag of ice at work - they were all so sweet to me.

So, now I am thinking, ok, I am going to have to cut back - have to slow down - have to figure out how to do that, but basically I was just hobbling around work and that only made me slower, not have to do less.

Needless to say, my 2 fundraisers are over in the next week. Although April is full, May won't be as bad and basically through all of this I have found the one thing that I want more than anything else is to have time with my horses! Train them! Ride! Learn to ride better! Ah, did I say that I love horses! Yes, I do!!!

Hmmmmmmmm, when I started writing this I didn't think it would end this way. Even though yesterday was crazy and I HURT I wouldn't change a thing!! I love those horses!!

And just wait until Albert hears about how I want to rescue horses! Just read an article in my Horse and Rider magazine! Man, too many horses out there are in such bad shape!

Wonder if God will give us more land so I can save some horses - ah - stay tuned! Stacy

Friday, March 16, 2012

Interesting Week

Well, all I can say is that it has been a very interesting and crazy week. I am not sure how this all fits into my journey, but I do know God is amazing!

We helped Tressa move back home on Saturday, so that was good!

On Tuesday we were able to get tickets to the rodeo (got to see Miranda Lambert) - you know I want to go to the rodeo as much as I can! Albert, Tim, Lorene (his friend), Tressa, Paige (her friend) and I were able to score suite seats - it was a blast! The night before we picked up the tickets from friends while having dinner at Lupe Tortillas (one of my favorites), while there I started talking with the waitress (yes, Fonda and Robin - I know you are shocked - lol), well one thing led to the other and I invited her - so we saw her there as well - she is such a cutie!

Wednesday I was questioning everything (probably because I was tired from the weekend and the rode0) about my life - if where I worked was where I should be, if I needed to do something different - what all was going on - anyway - after some sleep, I was much better - lol - crazy how things become when you are sleep deprived!

Today, Friday, was mowing day, so Albert and I started to mow while Tressa left for work, well, as I was mowing I saw her walking down the street - ah - her car just stopped!

So Albert and I went down there to her car and let her take one of our cars to work. I love towing insurance on cars - I must say - I have been able to use it enough to justify it! So, we got a tow truck out there and we will see what is up with her car.

I am sure that I am working towards the right path - I feel it! Not sure how long that will include working at the Center - but maybe a bit more! Have to make sure Albert and I are able to build that round pen and start working those horses - so I know that I will be at the Center for the rest of this year and maybe 2013 as well.

Tressa will be with us at least until August (maybe July) then at that point she will be going away to college - something that makes me so happy and proud! I am very excited that she has come to this choice!

Please keep us in your prayers! I really feel the support!!!