New App

I am so excited about this new app my cousin told me about, "Lose It!".  I have it on my iPad.  I am able to add my weight loss goal and they tell me how many pounds I will need to lose a week to reach my goal.  You also add all your food and exercise activity.  You can use this bar code scan as well and it reads labels.  Anyway, it is a new toy for me and I am enjoying it.

This year my journey has been up and down. As well as highs and lows, excitement and frustration.  Just a few days ago I was even in a funk.  Strange as it sounds, this new app has helped me get out of my funk.  I think because I feel like I have some sort of control back in my life.  I want to live my life (the way God is leading me) and not just have life happen to me.  I don't do well with crisis after crisis and just sitting back and having life happen.

I guess it is like surfing, I want to ride the wave in the direction that the Lord is leading me and not crash and be under the wave, drowning in what life is coming at me.

What I have learned so far about my journey is this:  God reveals Himself in many ways.  He is so amazing, so gentle, makes me laugh and cry.  At this time I feel more lead to speak with women and men who are in crisis and might not know Him.  As a matter of fact, I have 6 people that I am counseling with right now in the area of parenting, they are a captive audience because they are at the Center due to CPS.  I truly enjoy watching them grow in the areas of parenting and the Lord.

Although it is a bit overwhelming at this time because I am also in the middle of planning a huge fundraiser banquet, but He is allowing me to watch Him work and bring the banquet details together.  So that is good!

The fact that it is September reminds me that 3/4's of my "Journey Year" has almost come to an end.  I am still not exactly sure what He is going to do next and how everything fits together, but I am confident that He has His plan for my life!

Anyway, I just wanted to share what was going on now and I so appreciate all your help and support!

Thanks for joining me in the journey, Stacy

Books - hmmmmm fun to read or not???

I started reading more often and I am really enjoying it.  I am learning a lot about the Lord and myself with the books that I have chosen or basically that God has led me too.  Although I must confess, sometimes I don't enjoy the books because I have to do work and change - lol.  Strange how I still have to change at age 48!

Take for example the new book I am reading, "Empty Promises, The Truth About You, Your Desires and the Lies You're Believing".  This book is by Pete Wilson, a Pastor out of  Nashville.

I am taking this book a little slow because it is stepping on my toes.  I am having to look and analyze why I do certain things.  For example, why is it so important that I need the approval from others?  What drives that inside of me?  Why isn't God's Word enough?  His promises and love should be more than enough!

So now I have been challenged by Pete to be aware of:  what I am saying, what I am doing, what I am thinking, how I am acting, where I am coming from and what my motives are!

Yikes!  My head hurts already!

He goes on to say that if I don't try to do these things I will spend my life trying to find my identity and worth in empty promises of attractiveness, acceptance, wealth and power.

He says that these things will just leave us empty and wanting more.  His point being that only God can fill our empty spaces.  He also states that idolatry is when I look to something that does not have God's power to give me what only God has the power and authority to give me.  So don't look to others for my approval, that is idolatry, I can only get that space filled by God.

So, I will be trying to do this over the next month or so, oh, and I am only on chapter 3!!  Wonder what else is going to hurt my head - lol!

As I am on my journey, I have found out some amazing things!  I am reading the Bible daily in a broken up manner that will allow me to have read the entire Bible in one year - I am loving this!  God has shown me His Word in a new way and it is really cool - like I am being transported back in time and seeing how the people in the Old Testament lived - it is really more real and alive this year!

I know that He wants me to be a minister of reconciliation and I am finding this through working with clients at the Center.

Also from a book I read earlier, "The Shack", I found out just how much God loves us and wants to spend time with us.  That He is a true gentleman and so very loving!  He has reconciled the world through Jesus and now He just waits for us to realize that and to come running to Him.

So, as my journey continues, please keep me in your prayers, as I think this new book is going to be a growing experience for me!  I do know one thing for certain, I don't want to believe any lies!

Thank you once again for joining me on my journey!  Stacy

The Flood of 2012

Just wanted to show you some of the pictures that Albert and I took around the property and neighborhood.  It was really crazy last week with a LOT of rain!

 One would think we lived by a lake, but nope, that is horse pasture.

 Thought Albert's bike would protected from all sorts of weather in the shed - didn't realize flooding could be like this.

 This is our neighbor's house.  He has at least a foot of water inside and the tractor and 3 cars had water in them as well.

 I opened the gate so I could close another gate to protect the horses, I took my first step and sunk to my knees.  Now we have a hole to fill.

 Thought the horses water bucket might float away, but it has sand in it, so it stayed put.

 Water front property, well, for a day anyway.

 Albert is pointing to a pile of ants floating in the water.

Here they are, it was crazy to see just a pile of ants floating like that.  Would be horrible to have them on you, guess that is one reason to stay out of flood waters.

Things are all back to normal, well, sort of.  The burn piles floated against the fences, so have to regroup all that wood, parts are still soaked, so waiting for it to dry out.  Still have rain off and on this week as well.  At least our well has more water in it - yeah!

Just wanted to share our Thursday! 

Thoughts Rolling Around in my Mind

It is so very interesting the way the Lord works.  We have started a study at church about the "Unseen".  What is underneath - picture an iceberg - you only see 30% of it, 70% is under the water.  So what are we built upon?  What is our foundation?  Why do we some times make poor choices?  How do we picture ourselves?

All of this can be answered by looking into who/what our foundation is.  Do we build upon Christ?  the world?  our past?  Do we know why we struggle in certain areas of our lives?  Do we believe the lies that others have told us about ourselves?

What I have come to realize is that I need to look into my past to see where my future is going.  Why am I insecure in certain areas of my life?  Why do I always have to make sure others are happy or not upset with me?  How can I follow the Lord and still do all the things in my life?  Where is my balance?

These are just a few things rolling around in my mind and I am working them out with God so that I can be ready for the ministry that He is going to give me.

Also, this year on my journey, I have found out many new and exciting things about God.  I know that I want my path to be His and I can trust that He will show me and let me know when I am NOT walking on that path.

God is so amazing, such a gentleman!  He loves with an everlasting love and truly only wants the best for our lives.

Instead of worrying that I am not on the right path, I am looking for doors that He is opening and going through them.  Instead of worrying that I am not doing what He wants, I am listening to the Holy Spirit and moving in His direction.

I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I choose to move forward and not allow the enemy to cause me to be still and not productive.

I feel His gentle leading towards a ministry in restoration.  So I am going to move forward in that direction.

Ok, so now what??  Well, June is almost over and so that means I am half way through my journey.  I am excitedly expecting what the next 6 months will reveal!  More puzzle pieces falling into place - why?  Because I am seeking His face and digging in deep into His Word.

Ever watch bull riding or bareback riding?  How the guys hold on to make the clock, well that is what I am going to do!  Hold on to Him and watch what He is going to do over the next 6 months!

Truly this has been an amazing journey and I am so very thankful that you are sharing it with me!  Stacy

Live Like You Were Dying

This is one of my favorite songs that Tim McGraw sings.  There was a time in my life when I had to play that song over and over again.  I needed to remember that each day is a gift from the Lord and we are not guaranteed tomorrows.

Funny thing is that the guest pastor spoke to this last Sunday.  Not the song, but the reality of each day being a gift and not knowing if we will be here tomorrow or if the Lord will take us home.

He also mentioned about us having a ministry, a journey, a path.  Well, he didn't say all those words, but that is what I heard as I listened.  Isn't it just like God to bring messages and verses to you while you are searching for Him?! 

After listening to the sermon and praying throughout the week, I heard something from God that I hadn't really heard before.  The word Restoration.  That is it - well, the beginning of it - the beginning of my journey!!  I want to be able to offer Restoration to others.  Being restored to God, to someone else,or  from something.  Helping others to see how great God is and how much He loves us.  That we are created with a purpose and He is just waiting to use us for that purpose.

So knowing that I might not have a tomorrow and I need to act in the "now", I have put that into action at the Center.  Like, talking with my CPS clients or even yesterday when I ran a pregnancy test for a client.  I was bolder in how I spoke about God and Jesus.  The CPS client is a believer and wants to be restored and hurts healed from her past; we were able to talk about God and His grace and mercies which are new every morning.  Having the client that needed a pregnancy test, I was able to ask her if she had ever received Christ as her Savior.  She thought about that and said that she thought that she had, but she wasn't ready to rededicate her life just quite yet.  Which was fine with me, I am not going to push God on anyone. She did allow me to give her a Bible and I know that the Word of God does not return void, so I was excited that she allowed me to share what I did with her.

Not knowing where God is going to take me on this journey has been interesting, frustrating and long, BUT knowing now that He wants to use me to bring restoration into others lives - well, that has become a new breathe of fresh air for me - or something like that - lol!  Let's just say - I am excited!

I do want to live every day to the fullest and be able to tell others about God and how He can change hearts and lives.

It is so easy to become frustrated with what we see going on in the world.  How people act towards one another, what moms and dads do to their children, or just how selfish people truly are.  It is hard to see that and yet I know if they would just realize how much God truly loves them, how He created them for His glory and His purpose and how special they are - their lives would change in a moment and generational cruses would be broken and hearts restored!

I have to look at life that way - that the glass is half full!  That people can change and lives can be restored!  That is me and that is my heart!

So today I choose to live my life as if I were dying - moment by moment - making a difference for His kingdom.  The only thing we can take with us to heaven is another person that we introduced to God!

What an amazing 6 months it has been, curious to know what the next 6 will bring about!  I just know that it will involve horses!!!  :)

Thank you for joining me on my journey!!!!  Stacy













  

Back Stage Living

This was the title of our sermon last Sunday by our guest Pastor.  Basically we all have a front stage and a back stage - the front stage is what the public sees, the back stage is private, the soul.

The front stage is always doing, going, performing (not meaning that in a bad or false way).  The back stage is a state of being, resting, and restoring ones self in the Lord (or should be).

We are to live our lives inside out, meaning, whatever we put into us will come out of us.  So am I putting good things into my life so that good things will come out?  Am I clinging to the branch so that I can be a vine that produces good fruit?  Am I creating time to sit at the feet of Jesus?  Can I hear His voice?

As I am having my year of "journey", I wonder if I am the one doing all the talking to God or if I actually have any time to hear Him, listen to that still small voice, slow down enough to breath?

I got together with a group of women that I know for a challenge to read the entire Bible over the course of this year.  While I am not good at doing this every day, I must say that it is something that I look forward to every day and when I miss a day, I truly miss being in the Word.  BUT it is strange to me how much I am retaining it, I mean like, how many verses can I say by memory?  I have my verse of the day and I do cut some out and tape them to my bathroom mirror, but how many have I memorized - ah - not one of them yet.

I drive to work for about an hour each day, on the way into work I take time to pray.  I truly enjoy that time with the Lord, lifting up prayer requests and such.  BUT how much during the day do I take to listen to Him?  I can see Him working at the Center and am truly blessed by watching Him at work - BUT how much of the work that I do at the Center is through His power or my own?  Would I really know the difference?

A beautiful point the Pastor brought out was how Jesus got up early to be with His Father, spending time with Him before ministry.  He was being filled up so He could pour out.  This is what I want to do.  Spend my time with Him being filled up so that I can pour out.

I am starting to feel bold in Christ, feeling the freedom to speak the words that He wants me to speak.  Although I do need to slow down and hear Him more.

This past week I have seen CPS (Child Protective Services) Clients (I have 2 couples right now).  I truly enjoy this, meeting with them, talking about parenting skills, hearing their stories, all of it.  I am starting to use the principle of being filled up so that I can pour out, speaking truth in love to them.  Trying to slow down, listen to them so that I can hear from the Lord and speak back to them.

You see over the past couple of years I have filled my life with going and doing, not being.  So after this past Sunday's service, I have felt that conviction of slowing down.

So this is what I feel I need to start doing:  create space (don't always just be on the go), slow down, hurry less, being in the Word more, by doing this I will be able to hear His voice.

If I can begin to manage my back stage well, then my front stage can keep going.  I will be able to perform the ministry that He wants me to do, be on the path that He wants me to be on.  Clinging to the branch so that this vine can produce good fruit.  After all God is my anchor!

Funny how life is, still not sure where my journey will take me, but being in the back seat, taking care of my back stage sure makes a lot of sense.  What an interesting journey so far and just think, June is here, in 6 more months I might just know where my path is leading me!!  :)  Thank you for joining me, Stacy

Daily Devotional

A volunteer at the Center shared this with me the other day.  She doesn't read my blog or even know that this is my year for my journey - a journey to see what God wants me to be when I grow up - lol.

Just thought I would share this with you, it was the May 1st daily devotional in a book called "Jesus Calling":

You are on the path of My choosing.  There is no randomness about your life.  Here and Now comprise the coordinates of your daily life.  Most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half-lived.  They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place.  They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space.  They forget their Creator, who walks with them only in the present.

Every moment is alive with My glorious Presence, to those whose hearts are intimately connected with Mine.  As you give yourself more and more to a life of constant communion with Me, you will find that you simply have no time for worry.  Thus, you are freed to let My Spirit direct your steps, enabling you to walk along the path of Peace.

The recommended reading is Luke 12:25-26 and Luke 1:79

It is amazing to me how much the Lord loves us.  He places people in our lives, gives us multiply blessings and loves us unconditionally.

As I continue to seek my path, I can rest in this;  I am on the path of His choosing.  I also want to communion with Him not only daily, but deeper.  Seek Him more and hear from the Holy Spirit.

It is so comforting to know that He is not limited by time or space, even though I am.  Which is a good thing for me - lol.

As I continue this journey, walking with Him, He will show me what my life is and how my life should be.  Praise be to our God!

Thank you for joining me on my journey - Stacy

All About the Ranch

 The entrance to the Ranch!  What a wonderful place!!  Had such a blast!  Such pretty western colors.  The people were friendly and WAY too much great food to eat!

 Albert and I on the hay ride.  It was a fun weekend with horseback riding, golfing and eating  :)

 Here we are at the cookout - ready to eat and watch the big super moon that showed itself that night!

 My cousin, Tim, and his wife, Michelle, joined us.  Next year it will be there 25th wedding anniversary, so we will be joining them wherever they want to go.

 Here is the sign to the spa - had a wonderful massage there.  Was great to have a massage after horseback riding.

This is the town where the ranch is.  A fun little western town.

Just thought I would take a break from my journey writings to let you see some pictures of our wonderful vacation.  It is truly a great place and if you like the desert, golfing and horses, it is a place for you!!

A Wonderful Weekend

This has been a wonderful weekend (well, a bit longer than a weekend) with my hubby and cousins.  It is so much fun to be here in the desert air and sun - just enjoying all the beautiful scenery and just amazed at how God creates so many beautiful things and areas.  Just blows my mind!  He is so awesome!

The past 2 days I have been able to ride and able to think about my horses and what it all means.  I love horses, love riding, love exploring and love the wide open spaces.  So while riding and thinking it occurs to me that I need more than a journey or path in my life.  I have to have some balance!

Driving in the car for over 2 1/2 hours a day (to and from work) has put me out of balance.  While I do enjoy structured time and knowing what I am going to do (checking things off a list) I also need to balance out my life.  The pressures of the Center can become overwhelming.  Am I going to bring enough money in, how can I help this client, what articles do I need to write, what about making the deposit.  All of this can be draining and adding traffic to it just makes it worse.  Like joy is stolen from me - well, more like just sucked right out of me.

It is harder and harder to wake up in the morning, life has moments of joy, but not most of the time.  Life seems to be more about checking things off my list than actually living.  Like I have this pressure to preform and get things done.  Which I like, but for some reason this is different.  Not sure I can explain it all.

So, how can I have balance?  What is it that I need to cut out?  How do I change my thinking?  Being on the back of a horse can change your thinking.  This is for sure!  The beauty of it, the feel of a horse, talking with the horse; it is all so calming and so fulfilling.  Just amazing!  It is so amazing how God created these majestic creatures!  As you can tell I love horses.  I need to ride more, but how do I fit it all in??

Which brings me back to balance.  Where do I get it?  What do I give up?  How do I create more time in my day?  What does all this have to do with my journey?

Well, these are all thoughts that I will be pondering over the next couple of weeks - will need to get some balance in my life soon - that is for sure!

Thank you again for help me on my journey!  Stacy

My Mind is Crowded with ALL sorts of Thoughts!

Those of you who know me should be very scared of that title - lol!  I think I have gotten myself into trouble - how - well, by trying to read 3 books at the same time!  "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life", "Total Forgiveness" and the newest one, "When Pigs Move In" - and no - that one is NOT about pig farming.  :)

As I am on my journey, I have found that I have issues from my past to deal with.  Evidently I have some sort of unforgiveness in my heart and I need to have that plucked out - not sure of what that is just yet - but while reading my "Total Forgiveness" book I felt that sting in my heart and I know I have things to work through because of that.

Last Sunday's church was also very good.  Talking about God's timing and how His plans don't really revolve around timing - He is timeless - anyway, the example was Moses taking the Israelites into the promised land, how stubborn they were, and that they didn't trust Him so therefore the first generation didn't get to go in - they all died off.  Then the 2nd generation was able to receive their inheritance and go into the promised land.  We also learned how important it is to mediate on God's Word, that it's not about me, it's about God and to receive His promises.  His words are true and He is faithful!

Ok - so how does this all fit together - see - my mind is spinning!

And oh, not to mention, as I was driving into work this week I see a semi-truck that used to have a  logo on it about "Feed the Children" - it was all faded - like they took it off - but I could see it.  Actually I had to blink a couple of times to make sure I was reading what I was reading.  I was like, really God, what are you saying to me!

Well, this much I can say I know for sure!  1) God has a plan for me  2) All circumstances are under God's control  3) His Word is my direction and 4) I need to live a life devoted to Him.

So many puzzle pieces that I am just going to let Him put them all together.  Some days I really love my journey, some days I am really confused about it and some days - well - I just don't like it.  BUT I am ready to see where this year takes me and what God has for me.  And can you believe this year is already a 1/4 over - man!

Oh, and get this, my newest addition of Horse and Rider Magazine cover says, "Got A Goal" - really??!!

Truly my mind is crowded with all sorts of thoughts!  Hopefully it will be less crowded soon - lol!  Thank you for joining me on my journey, Stacy


 









 

Question Everything

This is a quote attributed to Albert Einstein and is in a new book that I am reading, "change your questions, change your life".

In the first couple of chapters you meet the character, Ben, who was the "answer man" at work and now he finds himself as the person who has no answers.

He is going to a mentor of sorts, per his boss's request, and now he has to Question Thinking.

The thought process here is that you have to find the right questions to find the right results. One example of this is back in the days when nomads walked from water hole to water hole, living in tents and constantly worrying about where they will be getting their next water for their livestock and their families, their question was, "where is the water?". Well once they changed their question to "how do we get water to us?", cities where born, crops were grown, life was different.

Ok, how do I apply this to my journey, my path. Well, I am not sure as of yet, only on chapter 3 - lol - but I am excited to see where this book will take me.

I have found my strengths (although I need to go and review them), I have seen what a good general does (although I need to read more of the book, "The Art of War") and now this book.

Also this morning in my Bible reading, God challenged me to defend the defenseless and stand up for the underdog. This is what I want to do. My question is HOW?

But is that the right question? Is that going to show me my path? What question is it that I am really asking? I know this - God, what is it that You want me to do? Do I continue the path where I am or start something new? How can horses be incorporated in all of this? Are they supposed to be? What is my next step?

I have questions, but don't believe I am asking them in the right way! I am hoping that the Lord will reveal to me what to ask and how to ask it as I read this book. Stay tuned - it may get interesting! :)

On another note, Albert and I are taking our youngest on a college tour today. I am excited to see what path the Lord has for her and to be able to share in this journey with her!

Thank you once again for sharing this journey with me! Stacy

My Journey

Ok - so here I am - wondering about my journey - my path - my next step in life - and right now I am cloudy and foggy - don't get it! But staying the course - because that is what I need to do until God shows me what is next.

BUT I do know that I am helping my youngest with her journey - so I like that! She wants to go to college and find her own path - yeah - love that!

BUT another thing has just caught my eye! Yes, another thing! I LOVE watching Food Network and all their shows - but what I didn't realize is that in America (yes, America) we have children going for days (sometimes) without food - WHAT??? How can that happen - aren't we a GREAT and mighty country??? Don't we have programs in place to where people don't have to go hungry? We have food pantries, WIC, food stamps, Shelters and schools that give discounted lunches - how can this be???

So on this commercial they say by 2015 we can end children hungry - WHAT - 2015?? Why do we have to wait 3 more years to end hungry in America???? Sorry, but this just blows my mind!

Ok, so now what, do I do something about this? Do I just send a check, do I check into our area about this - I just don't get it! This (once again) is just blowing my mind!

Every day I deal with women who need help and I have numbers to give them or I can actually help them - why is there this problem? What is slipping through the cracks???

So basically stay tuned and we sill see what happens next on this issue......

Oh, I am also praying for a person to rent a stall - just so you know!

Well, just wanted to share what was on my mind - once again, thank you for sharing this journey with me! Stacy

Ups and Downs/Highs and Lows

A lot emotionally has happened to me since my last post. My Ferrier (a person who shoes and trims horse hooves) came out last Friday, it was time for the girls to have their mannies and peddies - lol.

We were talking about horses, how I want to have a business or do something with horses, that sort of thing. Well, he has a lot of knowledge about horses and making a living off of horses and basically was saying, "you can't make any money off of horses". He is a realist. I was sharing about wanting to work with horses and kids as well, "you would have to have a HUGE insurance policy". Again, reality. So, another pitch, "I would like to rescue horses" - I am trying every angle here! "Once you start rescuing horses, everyone will know that you do that and you will end up having too many horses and they will need to be rescued". Stinking drought, hay prices, feed prices, trying to make money off of horses when people are just turning horses loose on the streets.

People can't make ends meet and with so many horses out there it is hard to do anything with them at this time. So the words rolling around in my head are, "Can't he just see I want to do something with horses???"

Ok, so reality in my face. In talking with Albert about this, him being a realist as well, he is agreeing with the Ferrier. So, emotion city happens. "It's not fair, I want to have a dream, why can't I just do something that I finally want to do in life." You know, my own little pity party was happening.

It's like as a woman you raise your children, you keep your household going, you contribute to the family, your marriage, all these things, but when is it that I just get to have a dream and have the freedom to live out my dream. See, I told you, a nice pity party was full on happening!

Ok, so as my pit party is keeping me emotional throughout the weekend, we go to church on Sunday. Ah, my Pastor, what does he have to say about dreams and goals and such? In the book of Nehemiah we see the vision, God's vision. A wall that had been destroyed and not fixed for over 90 years and God has Nehemiah go and fix it - in 52 days the wall is rebuilt - he had this dream - people told him it couldn't be done and yet - God through Nehemiah did it!

Ah, the dream can come back now. Not that I ignore reality, but I can see through the fog and get back to my dream, my journey.

One thing that Pastor Sal said that I just kept running through my head was, "when we are faithful with the little things, then we will be rewarded with bigger things". Well, that is true, look at Nehemiah, he went from the King's cup bearer to the Governor with a new rebuilt wall and everything.

So yesterday driving into work it hits me (well, God hit me upside the head). I am not my own, I was bought with a price, I have no rights. Lay down your rights - yes, Lord. Seek me - yes, Lord. You said you wanted a year to figure out what the rest of your life is going to look like and it is only the end of March - yes, Lord.

So as reality meets dreaming here is what I have come up with - nothing is impossible with God! He owns a 1000 cattle on the hill! If I am faithful with what He has given to me now, there is no telling what the rest of the year will look like. Why am I focusing on the negative and not the blessings He has already given me?

He will either redirect my heart and my dream or He will bring it to completion!

Me, I am a dreamer. I live in a world of reality that I have to deal with, but I know God's ways are not always man's ways.

So once again, I am on my journey to see what this year will bring. I am done with my pity party (at least this one - lol) and will continue on - to fight the good fight - to be faithful with what He has given to me - to continue on this journey until He shows me something different.

Oh, and my foot is still swollen, can only wear one pair of shoes right now. It is also a pretty color of purple and pink. :) It's all good!

Thank you for being on this journey with me and for allowing me to share my ups and downs and highs and lows. Stacy

Be careful what you pray for!

Well, as you all know I am in the middle of my journey to find out what the "rest" of my life has for me. Well, lately I have felt very overwhelmed! So many things happening at work, a child moving back home (which is a praise report!) and rain (which is a blessing) causing grass and weeds to grow. All the while, trying to work with the horses, running 2 fundraisers at the same time at work, plus running the education department, plus everything else I do at work! As well as trying to keep up with the house and property! Oh, did I say I was feeling overwhelmed??? Ah, yes I am!

Ok, so here goes the "Be careful of what you pray for part". I have been praying on how to slow down - where to cut back - what can I let go of - how can I spend more time in prayer and just "being still and knowing God".

So, yesterday we had to take one of the horses to the vet, she wasn't eating normally and believe me - she EATS. Tressa and I loaded her up in the trailer in only 20 minutes, so thought it would take longer as she has only been off the property 2 times before this trip. Feeling pretty good about loading her and while I was closing the bar to secure her in the trailer I got my left pinky finger caught in the bar so now have 2 beautiful blood blisters. A little hard to type - who knew I needed my left pinky finger that much.

So, Albert gets home from work and he decides he will go with me. This is good because I have never driven the horse trailer before. So we get there and she is freaking out, shaking from the trip over there and very sweaty. I go to let her out and she almost runs over me, but the main point to this part is that she steps on my foot. So happy I was wearing boots! Then we go to where the exam is going to take place and she won't go into the room. Have to have help with that. Thank you vet techs! She finally receives some drugs to help calm her and we get to look into her mouth. Horses mouths are strange and beautiful. Crazy looking teeth and as you are looking at them you wonder why God created them that way. Well, of course He made them that way, so that they can chew their food very well - because they can colic way too easily.

Ok, so we try to get her back into the trailer, ah, more drugs please! Anyway, we had a hard time (worse than when Tressa and I put her in), Albert who was still in his work clothes got step on, so glad his toes are still there. Had to have 2 vet techs help us, she is crazy, can you say more drugs, please! So one of the vet techs has this idea to back up the trailer to a spot where she basically had to go into the trailer, so we did that (ah, so glad Albert joined us - me backing up a trailer - I think not).

Ok, all is well - ah NOT! We get home and she starts FREAKING out! I thought she was going to knock the trailer over! She saw the other horses and HAD to go to them! We got her out, Tressa helped and then all was well ------------- until I took off my boot!

Can we say pretty purple and pink colors! GREAT! My foot is so swollen I can hardly walk!

Albert was so sweet and fed the horses and mucked stalls for me the next morning (today). I hobbled into work - so glad I found a shoe that fit. I had to ice my foot - I HATE icing! My co-worker even brought me a bag of ice at work - they were all so sweet to me.

So, now I am thinking, ok, I am going to have to cut back - have to slow down - have to figure out how to do that, but basically I was just hobbling around work and that only made me slower, not have to do less.

Needless to say, my 2 fundraisers are over in the next week. Although April is full, May won't be as bad and basically through all of this I have found the one thing that I want more than anything else is to have time with my horses! Train them! Ride! Learn to ride better! Ah, did I say that I love horses! Yes, I do!!!

Hmmmmmmmm, when I started writing this I didn't think it would end this way. Even though yesterday was crazy and I HURT I wouldn't change a thing!! I love those horses!!

And just wait until Albert hears about how I want to rescue horses! Just read an article in my Horse and Rider magazine! Man, too many horses out there are in such bad shape!

Wonder if God will give us more land so I can save some horses - ah - stay tuned! Stacy

Interesting Week

Well, all I can say is that it has been a very interesting and crazy week. I am not sure how this all fits into my journey, but I do know God is amazing!

We helped Tressa move back home on Saturday, so that was good!

On Tuesday we were able to get tickets to the rodeo (got to see Miranda Lambert) - you know I want to go to the rodeo as much as I can! Albert, Tim, Lorene (his friend), Tressa, Paige (her friend) and I were able to score suite seats - it was a blast! The night before we picked up the tickets from friends while having dinner at Lupe Tortillas (one of my favorites), while there I started talking with the waitress (yes, Fonda and Robin - I know you are shocked - lol), well one thing led to the other and I invited her - so we saw her there as well - she is such a cutie!

Wednesday I was questioning everything (probably because I was tired from the weekend and the rode0) about my life - if where I worked was where I should be, if I needed to do something different - what all was going on - anyway - after some sleep, I was much better - lol - crazy how things become when you are sleep deprived!

Today, Friday, was mowing day, so Albert and I started to mow while Tressa left for work, well, as I was mowing I saw her walking down the street - ah - her car just stopped!

So Albert and I went down there to her car and let her take one of our cars to work. I love towing insurance on cars - I must say - I have been able to use it enough to justify it! So, we got a tow truck out there and we will see what is up with her car.

I am sure that I am working towards the right path - I feel it! Not sure how long that will include working at the Center - but maybe a bit more! Have to make sure Albert and I are able to build that round pen and start working those horses - so I know that I will be at the Center for the rest of this year and maybe 2013 as well.

Tressa will be with us at least until August (maybe July) then at that point she will be going away to college - something that makes me so happy and proud! I am very excited that she has come to this choice!

Please keep us in your prayers! I really feel the support!!!

Step 1

In moving forward in my journey, I joined APHA (American Paint Horse Association) today. I have a registered Paint and need to get paperwork to show that she actually belongs to me now. So, joining was "step one".

Albert and I are also going to go to McCoy's tomorrow to buy the rest of the items that we need to build a round pen. So, that will be "step two" - of course that step won't be complete until it is built, but with the cooler weather that we are having, it will happen sooner than later.

I have a nice spot picked out on the back of the property for the round pen. I want it to be easy to get to, but not in the direct view of my neighbors or when sitting on my back porch.

Albert and I are also going to build a wash rack. We already have water that is easily accessed and cement poured for it, just need to create a way to keep the horses there while they are being washed. They don't always like this process.

I have a friend who owns a registered Paint Stallion, "step three" will be having Baby and Tejas artificially inseminated (AI). I wanted to have Princess done as well, but her "horse" age is 68 and I just can't do that to a 68 year old! LOL - I would not want to be pregnant at that age!!

I think I also need to go down the street (well, longer than just a street) and see if I can volunteer for the SPCA. They have their horses out there and it would be good to be around more horses and learn more about them and how to help them transition from being wounded to a state of healing.

I will also be looking into riding lessons, so need to keep my eyes open to see where I can do that. I know I can at our local Jr College, but I think I want to have someone train me instead. I do believe it will be more cost effective this way.

So I will be blogging and probably posting pictures for the next steps that have to take place.

Not sure what all this means, but these are the steps I know I am to take - no matter what happens in my life in 2013. Meaning do I still work for the Center? Do I start a new ministry? Do I jump into the world of volunteering? Do I go back to school so that I can learn how to counsel abused children? Ah, just waiting around for the Lord and taking it step by step!

It is nice to see some of the process unfold right before my eyes! Stacy

Waiting

Let's just say with my personality it is hard to wait on what I see I want to do and what needs to be done. I can see puzzle pieces being put together in my life, I just don't know what they all mean as of yet.

I was praying on the way into work earlier this week and just asking the Lord to show me if working at the Center is something that I need to be doing - if I am making a difference. I was asking Him to show me on that day - well, He did! It was so amazing!! I was given a birthday card where the staff signed it and it just made me cry with all the wonderful things that were written on that card. God just always amazes me in what He is doing and where He is working and I am just so blessed to be a part of that.

I also know that I can keep moving forward this year at the Center even though the drive can get to me on some days. I can push through that because I see Him at work there and what He is doing in the lives of the clients, staff and volunteers.

I have also come to realize that what ever my next step is it involves those who are abused. Whether that means animals, people (children) or both. I know this is the path He has me on.

I truly need to write out all that God has shown me and formulate some sort of a plan from that. For some reason I am not getting around to that and usually that is so much fun for me to do. Hmmmmm wonder what that means.

Well, as I end this blog post I must say once again, waiting is very hard for me to do, but I will wait - will wait to see what doors the Lord opens and what doors He closes. He has a plan and it is going to be truly wonderful!

Waiting, waiting waiting - that is what I will be doing as I plug away at other goals He has given to me for this year.

Monday

Well, it has been an interesting couple of days. So many thoughts running around in my head. Things of what I would love to do, things that are more realistic, and things that just make me tired and want to take a nap.

Albert and I had dinner on Friday night at the Goode's. So the table conversation turned into a deep subject, "what is your passion". So, all of us had to answer that question. At first I couldn't really put my finger on what to say and I was feeling pressure to answer the question because we made all the men go first. Turns out I feel my passion is to help others. To come alongside of them and make sure they know how special they are and how great the love of God is. I also want to help animals, those that are broken due to neglect and/or abuse.

Then, Sunday at church, the Pastor was talking about chapter 2 and 3 in Nehemiah. Well, in these 2 chapters we are finding out that the King is allowing Nehemiah to go and build the wall, that most of the people are excited about it and that some people are, well, just not excited about it at all.

The wall represents safety, security, and how others view the power of God. It was very important to Nehemiah that the wall be rebuilt and to most of the Jews as well.

The Pastor made a point in saying that if we think are doing the work of the Lord and everyone is approving of that or that there isn't any opposition, then maybe we need to make sure we are truly doing His work. Let's just say this - the enemy wants to foil any plans that we have that include Kingdom building and praising God.

Ok, so putting this all together - oh, another important fact that I have learned is about planning - how I need a vision, a mission and a plan. Something that moves me forward - ok - now putting it all together!

Do I want a Big, Hairy, Audacious, Goal (BHAG) of starting my own ministry, seeing how to come up with more land, looking into a future with many horses and children who need love and care? OR do I look in another direction, a direction that still calls for a lot of faith, one that is more like I no longer work but instead volunteer with 2 different ministries/agencies?

Is there something in between those 2 ideas? Is this even the path that God wants me to be on? What is my first step?

Well, I am actually already taking a first step - Albert and I are getting our finances in order - so that is step one.

I am actually putting down on paper all the things I need to do before I can even start "saving" horses.

I do want to have a horse business of some sort as well. I have 2 stalls that I want to rent out - do you know of anyone that needs a horse stall??

And oh, at some time this year I will be taking horseback riding lessons as well. I do know how to ride, but I don't really know how to ride.

I also want to work with the horses and train them. Albert and I will also be building a round pen in the next couple of months. Need to start that before it becomes too hot.

It would appear that I am confused about my journey, my path, but as I am writing this it just feels good to be thinking in a direction, looking down a road that I want to travel.

I know as I write more, plan more, pray more it will all come into focus and the Lord will open His floodgates and more things will become clear. And I also know that my God owns the 1000 cattle on the hill and if He wants us to have more land, He will do it - no worries, we have a great and mighty God!

Thanks again for following me! Question? What is your passion and what does your journey look like? Ah the tables have turned - lol!! Stacy

A Long Week

This week has felt very long to me. After getting home from NY and then trying to get back into my routine, I am just feeling tired. Although I have been to a couple of websites that I feel are part of my journey, I am not sure how I am feeling after reading about what they have done and if this is my journey as well or if mine is a bit different (I am thinking a bit different).

I sort of feel like I have stalled a bit, not sure which direction to go at this moment. I also think I feel this way because I was asked a question that started me thinking....

"If you could have your ultimate dream life where money didn't matter, what would that life look like?"

I know dreaming and goals are very important, but I don't think this was a good question for me to ponder on. I am better at walking through the doors that God has opened and then reflecting back on what He has done and how He has blessed my family and myself.

It is too easy for me to get caught up in the clouds of dreams that aren't somewhat realistic - I can become depressed and upset because of what I don't have instead of grateful over what I do have!

So, I need to shake this off and get back into my search for what my journey is, get back into reading the "Art of War" and asking God what to do next for my journey.

I also need to listen to the sermon from last week, that will get me back into the book of Nehemiah. That is where my focus needs to be.

I also want to make it clear that God can give us our heart's desires and if that meant a life where money didn't matter, ie: I was a millionaire; then He could do that. I just need to take things one step at a time and not have my head so far in the clouds that I can't walk on the ground. It just works out better for my personality.

Ok, so I need to get back to focusing on Him, where He is leading Albert and I, and what to do next.

Oh, and this is all right before Rodeo starts up, so there is no telling what frame of mind I will be in over the next couple of weeks - lol - I love the rodeo - I love the cows and horses - all the events. Going on Saturday (tomorrow) to watch bull riding! The fun begins!

Wonder what part the Rodeo will play in my journey! Looking forward to see what God does next!

Stacy

The Trip Home from New York

Just got in today from New York, back to the busy city of Hockley, lol, what am I talking about - it is so nice and peaceful here, hardly know we have neighbors. That is NOT what New York is like.

I do enjoy NY (don't want to live there, but love going there) all the walking everywhere, seeing all the people from all around the world. Very cool place to visit and have a blast with my girlfriends!!

On the plane trip home I was finally able to look over my Strength Finders 2.0 book and see what my personality means. It is so crazy reading over what they are saying about your personality. Here I took about a 20 minute test on the computer and bam I am reading about who I am in black and white.

Just to make sure I wasn't making anything up, I kept bugging Fonda and asking her if she saw me that way as well. It was freeing to see the strengths that I have and yet scary.

It is also hard to believe some of what they say, like how my personality type is able to inspire and encourage others. That I have a gift of communication. How I can involve others and I don't like anyone to be left out (well that part I believe - lol).

Now comes the hard part - reading over this and truly seeing myself in a new way, I guess in a way that matters, well that I do matter. I know that what we do can affect others, that we don't live on an island, that if we do something that can hurt one person, it will have a trickle down effect. I know that, but now I have to realize that when we (I) do good, when we (I) work in our strengths, we (I) have a positive effect on others and can actually change lives, maybe even generations.

I need to read over my strengths again and really let it all sink in. Make goals and challenge myself to truly live a life of purpose and excellence. To give God the glory in all areas of my life, not only that, but truly see where He is working and how I can come alongside of Him. I want to make a difference in my community and for His kingdom.

I feel like I need big charts around the house where I can write everything down and also create diagrams - it is so strange, feeling like I am starting from scratch!

Oh, and get this, in the Bible readings that we are doing, Moses is telling Aaron and the Israelites all about atonement for sin, all the offerings that where going to have to start doing. I am reading this thinking, how is Aaron going to remember all of this, what animal for what sin, when he can eat an animal, how to never use leaven while making a grain/bread offering. I am getting overwhelmed and feeling so sorry for Aaron, like he needed charts and graphs, and here I am in the same boat! Love how God works that way!!! He prepared me through reading Leviticus for what He has in store for me! What a sense of humor!!!!

Well, back to work this week. Back to reading the "Art of War" and seeing how I can outline, underline, something like that, for what my next step is for my journey!

Thanks for joining me on this journey! Stacy

New York City

I am on a trip in New York City this weekend with some of the bestest friends you would ever want to have, Robin Harris and Fonda Goode!

Last night we went out to eat at a great restaurant and then to a play, "Love, Loss and What I Wore", it was very good and has given me a lot to think about from my past.

The play was basically 5 women recounting times about their past and what they were wearing. This started me thinking this morning, first of all I have some great memories of shopping with my mom, family, and friends. Buying outfits, shoes, accessories, all those sorts of things and what was going on when we were shopping and why.

Like the times my mom and I would shop before the first football game so that I could have a new sweater to wear for it or going with her to buy material and a pattern for my prom and winter formal dresses. Buying maternity jeans for my sister when she was pregnant with her son (I am big on jeans!), or going with my oldest to pick out her wedding dress. Times that I have shopped alone trying to find that perfect top for my youngest, hoping that she would just love it or surprising my son with a shirt from one of his favorite shows. Looking at shirts knowing that my husband would just look so much more handsome in it OR going to the rodeo and buying a shirt that I just had to have, because hey, it is the rodeo!!

But this morning I also started thinking about what blessings I have had throughout my life. Growing up in a small town and knowing almost everyone you went to high school with (that can be good and bad -lol), having my dad watch me cheer lead, run track and cross country. Meeting my husband in 1981; becoming great friends and then best friends before we were married in 1987. Moving to Texas meeting wonderful friends that have your back, you enjoy going out with and don't judge you. Having my sister and my cousin be such close and wonderful friends - it is great have family that can also be best friends! Having my children grow up to become wonderful adults that I enjoy being around and having the most awesome grandchildren (I think in the entire world)!

I also enjoy where I work and who I work with, the staff, volunteers and clients. So many blessings from my past that have brought me to this moment in time; this part of my journey. I know I have the strength and courage to go through what is ahead because of my past.

This past week I have had another door open, I think, that reveals my future. I am starting to see such a need to reach out to "at risk" and troubled teens. Seeing how affected my client is by her past makes me want to make me step in and help not only her but other youth not go down that same path or if they have, help them to heal and overcome so that they can have a wonderful and productive future.

This new open door also includes my horses. It takes a lot of trust to work with horses. You have to trust your horse and believe it or not, they have to trust you. So putting them with kids that need to work on trust issues would be awesome.

I feel the Lord bringing this together in my life, I am walking through this door to see where it might lead me. I am excited about this new journey and feel energized thinking about all the possibilities this open door could have for me.

Hmmmmmm, all of this from a play where women basically talked about clothes and feelings - how funny is that?!

I have some more exploring and research to do, I want to make sure this is an open door that I am supposed to walk through and that it will be productive and excellent. Also that this is all from the Lord.

Well, more about this after I have done more research! Thanks again for joining me on this journey! Stacy

A good General

So as I have been on my journey, the Lord has lead me to read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. Why you ask? Ah, I don't know, but I am reading it.

This is what I have learned so far - A good general knows his enemies, knows his soldiers, knows when to battle and when to rest his troops. A good general knows the battle field and how to director his troops through that field to victory. He knows ever piece and how to put it together and work it out so that he wins. I often imagine the board game Risk while I am reading this book - not that I really played that game, but that is what pops into my head.

To me, God is the good general. He knows me, knows how to put all the pieces of my life together and when I need to move forward and when I need to stay put.

He has already won the war, but I still have daily battles that I must go through. So, I need to listen to the General, move when He says to move and stay put when He says so.

Ah, so the word TRUST comes into play. If I know that He is a good general, that He has my back, that He knows me and only wants me to win each battle, then can I trust Him enough to move forward when He says and stay put when He says.

Ok, so now let's combine this with Sunday's sermon - ah the book of Nehemiah - no kidding - God is so amazing putting all of this together for me as I am on this journey! We are now studying this book and I must say, once again the subject of trust comes into play.

Nehemiah was on a journey as well, the journey to rebuild the wall. He had to trust God and move when God said to move. He had to listen to the good General as well.

Not sure if any of this makes sense, but this is where I am right now. Still waiting for God to reveal and move in my life. Which He is doing - I must say.

So the question is do I trust Him? Will I jump off the high dive into the deep end with Him? I think so! Not sure what it means, but I will move and go through the doors He has opened - I am excited to find out what it all means, actually!

He has been leading me to look up a couple of things online and to call the vet for the horses. So I need to do that - follow through with what He prompting me to do.

So, there will be more to this story. Aren't you glad you are along for the ride - lol! Until next time! Stacy

Breathing - In and Out

My friend, Fonda, sent me a link to a blog that she thought I might like. I read this and was thinking about how we take so much in and how much we process every day.

I see what other women are doing and either feel guilty that I don't do the same thing or maybe what I do won't turn out the same. Silly things that rattle my brain and throw me off course.

In the blog it talks about all that we take in, but we also need to breathe out. We can't do all things, we actually are not created to be able to do all things. We are created for God's purpose and He created each of us individually and unique - like a snow flake.

I remember watching a commercial growing up for a perfume - it was talking about how as a woman we can "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget your a man" - what did that message say? Woman can do it all! But are we supposed too?

I also found out at the conference that I attended that the Proverbs 31 woman is a collection of all women - not just one woman could do all these things. How God created us to do things within our talents and area of gifting.

So, then the question is - what is my talent and gift? Where does He want me to work? What is the path that He is leading me too?

This is what I am working towards. Knowing truly who I am and why I was created. Yes, I am a child of God, yes, I am a wife, yes, I am a mom and YES, I am a grandma - BUT what does that all mean? How do I fit into His big plan?

Ah, the journey continues! :) Below is the website for the blog...

www.incourage.me/2012/02/remember-to-breathe-out.html

Once again, thank you for letting me share! On to see what today holds for me and my journey!

Puzzle pieces coming together

It has been very interesting couple of weeks. Last week I was able to attend a conference in Dallas and before attending, we had to do homework. One of the books we had to read is called "Strengths Finders 2.0", and then take an online test. This book shows you what the strengths are for your personality and how to work in those strengths. We also took a Spiritual gifts test and a personality test.

In attending the conference, I learned that I really want to please people, even in a little silly game that had no right or wrong answers. I need to look deeper into that - why that feeling of not upsetting anyone or making anyone angry. At times it is almost a feeling that if I am not perfect then a person won't like me. This feeling can become very negative as well and I can shut down from people if I feel there is just no way in pleasing them. Yes, I have issues.

I believe my Spiritual gift is Teaching, which when taking this test before, that is what it said as well, but as I heard and read about what that gift involves, it just makes me so tired. So, here again, I need to investigate why I feel so tired about my life.

The personality test was interesting and I believe what it was saying about how God created me, but what it also showed was the strong part of your personality and the weakness and how we can do so many things, but some things we do, when we operate out of our weakness and that tires us out. We then don't perform as well and we can also become frustrated or do things we wouldn't normally do. When we operate in our strengths, it is almost like giving us energy and we are excited about what we are doing.

The sermon on Sunday was, once again, just what I needed. The pastor spoke on the doors that God opens and the doors that He closes. How we need to walk through those doors, even when we feel opposition from others. He related it to a "now" and "then" - if I would have known "then" what I know "now". Where we have felt the nudging of the Lord to go in one direction and yet for some reason we didn't do it. He has a special path for all of us and that is the path I want to be on - the one He has for me!

So, now, putting this all together - awwwwwww that is the question!

I have asked my hubby to give me 2 years with the horses, I feel a nudging from the Lord in a certain direction and I feel I have an open door. So, with that in mind, I am still praying and moving forward in that direction. I will talk more about that later.

I am not one that reads a lot (I need to read more actually), but I just wanted to share this book with you. If you ever have a chance, you should order the book. It has a special code in the back so that you can go online and take a test. So this is a book that you actually have to buy and can't borrow from someone else if you want to take this test. It was very interesting to learn that even though some of us at the conference had the same strengths, how we answered the questions and how we use our strengths was different - all very interesting. The book is "Strengths Finders 2.0" by Tom Rath.

I must admit I have homework from the conference that I still need to do for this book. So I am hoping to catch up on that and have even more information and confirmation about my journey.

Thank you for letting me share! Until next time! Stacy

2012

I have basically used my blog to talk about my grandchildren, family and friends. Well, 2012 will have a different look for me as I blog. I have chosen this year to be the year of finding out who I am and what I am supposed to do for the 2nd half of my life (granted I have another 48 years to live).

Turning 48 years old this year brings up many unanswered questions in my life. My hubby and I are now empty nesters, we live on 5 acres, have 3 horses, 1 dog and I work for a crisis pregnancy center where I am the Development Director.

So, what all does this mean? What is the Lord's vision for my life? Where is He working and how do I come alongside to further His kingdom?

To me the easy answer is working at the Center, but truly is that what the next half of my life looks like? I just am not sure.

So, I am on a quest and if you want to follow along, you are more than welcome to do so!

I must confess, it is strange using my blog to talk about myself. My goal is to be open, honest and transparent as this year unfolds; to be able to share what the Lord has for me.

Thank you for joining me and allowing me to express myself, if not daily, at least weekly!

See you next time!